When I grow up, I want to be a ________!

So here I am, all "grown up" and wondering exactly how I want to fill in that blank. I have absolutely, positively no idea what I want to be doing with my life. Since going back to work, I've really struggled with my definition of me and what my purpose is. And that's very unsettling, to say the least.

Obviously, I have the kids. And I know there are loads of people who feel that their sole calling is to raise kids. And I know there are just as many people out there who would consider me a bad mom because I will quite honestly admit that raising kids is most definitely not my sole purpose in life. But I know I'm not a bad mom, so you over there...yeah, you, the one being all judgey and shit...knock it off, because I don't give a rat's ass what you think.

So the mom part of me is perfectly comfortable with my mom role, and the time I dedicate to enacting that role. But the adult-contributing-to-the-world-at-large part of me is not so content. I get absolutely zero satisfaction out of my job, but I don't want to quit because I don't know what I want to do instead. I've already managed to convince my employer that I should be working from home three days a week, so it's not like I don't see the kids enough. I'm just not a fan of the job. And that's a problem. Because it's a job that is a direct link in the chain of my chosen career. And I'm a little nervous that my dissatisfaction is indicative of the fact that I may have chosen the wrong career path.

But changing careers is hard, and often requires another round of post-secondary education. And who, may I ask, is going to pay for that? My money tree in my back garden? I hardly think so.

And then there's always that little question of for what exactly would I go back to school? Something artsy so I can be creative all the time? Something administrative so I can join the staff of the non-profit of my choice? Something scientific so I can save the planet? Something legal so I can fight with The Man about organic standards and water pollution levels?

With so much uncertainly, going back to school seems like a bad idea. What if I pick the wrong thing again? Don't get me wrong; I love school, and I could spend the rest of my life earning degree after degree and would be perfectly content, but that's just a tad pricey, and, sadly, "independently wealthy" is not often a trait used to describe me.

So now I'm in this weird funk (and, no, despite the nasty, cold dampness that pervades every nook and cranny of my house in this country, it's not a funk of the green and/or blue fuzzy variety...although we did manage to throw out a big pile of mouldy boxes that we pulled out of the basement about a month ago...but I digress). It's a funk that involves determining what the non-mom part of me wants to do in the big wide world, and it's a very uncomfortable place to be because I have no idea what that non-mom part of me wants to do.

Any suggestions?

PS - Because it's been awhile, here's a picture of the munchkins. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a cute picture of all three of them? Nearly impossible. This is the best I could find, and Desi looks like she's just witnessed the most colossal train wreck ever. Oh, well, someday they'll be a good one. Maybe.

Boo!

And you thought I'd fallen off the face of the planet. Shows what you know.

I really want to get my writing muscles back in gear, and since this is one of the best places to do that, expect more frequent posting. Please note, that said more frequent posting, not frequent posting. Since it's been three months since my last post, a once-a-month post would qualify as more frequent posting. I hope it'll be at least once a week, but since I've decided that I am bound and determined to do this little thing this year, November is a really sketchy month for me to try to uphold a promise to add to the ole' blog. But I'll try.

So I'm here, I'm alive, I'm relatively well, and all of the here, alive, and relatively well will be expanded, developed, and fleshed out soon(er).

PS - Happy Halloween! The donning of costumes and the trick-or-treating aren't so big here. Bummer. And it's really hard to find Reese's peanut butter cups here. Bummer. So please wear the most absurb costume you can find and eat a big fat pile of peanut buttery chocolatey goodness for me.

PPS - November is National Adoption Awareness Month in the U.S. Tell a friend. And exploit the ridiculously cute pictures of my amazing kids.

It's coming, I promise. I just have this itty bitty perfectionist tendancy (I swear, it's only a tiny little thing!) that means that a single blog post takes me at least an hour, if not more, to perfect to postability status, and in all honesty, I just haven't had an hour to spare. I'm sorry, but I value sleep far more than the up-to-datedness of this blog...

But it's coming, I promise. And it'll be a grand tale of fabulous days on the beach, stupid uncles, and horrific car wrecks....

Choose your own adventure

You know you've been absent for way too long when you're not really sure what to write about upon return.

The new job and my completely absurd bout of social awkwardness because I am both young and a mother of three?

The vacation with my extended family in South Carolina for my sister's wedding when I finally realized that my uncle is a complete butthead and that I don't give a rat's ass what I look like in a bathing suit?

The horrifying car accident that could have killed my entire family?

The wet British weather that is breeding mold and funk in my kitchen cabinets and in my sun-loving soul?

Any takers?

I'm still alive, I promise. The new job, a sister's wedding, and the kids have kept me busy, but I've had lots of thoughts about blog-worthy updates. I'll try to narrow it down to the best few and get my writing ass in gear...

Unexplained absences

Although I guess three toddlers is enough of an explanation for my absence. If I were really dedicated, I would actually write something about the past month of my life. But I'm lazy, so I'm just posting a bunch of photos, mostly of the kids. You may not find them nearly as interesting as I do, but, hey, this is my blog, so it's all about me and my interests, right?

A moment of gloating: I have beautiful kids.

Beautiful, and fun to boot...

I buy the coolest toys, and have the greatest stash of art supplies, but apparently nothing beats the laundry basket for a barrel of laughs.

And climbing into Desi's crib after naptime is always fun.

Rhys is becoming girlier by the second. Note what she picks up off the shelves at the local shops:

And for the first week that she had these shoes, she insisted upon sleeping in them:

But, like every princess, she needs her own complete set of tools.

And, of course, it's never too early to turn a kid into a Harry Potter fan.


We introduced Ben and Desi to popsicles.


And in addition to their "this is freezing cold and a little sour because it's frozen orange juice" faces, they are both complete goofballs who produce goofy looks at any opportunity.



And after a long and rewarding day of changing diapers, wiping noses, tickling tummies, cleaning up spills, wrestling with a bunch of monkeys, and chasing toddlers around the back yard, The Most Wonderful Husband in the World knows exactly how to turn The Exhausted Mom into The Most Relaxed, Most Agreeable Wife in the world:

Someday, I'll actually write something. But I finally got a job, and I start next week, so don't expect anything too soon!

Weeds, Weeds, Weeds

The other day, I showed you a bunch of pictures of the lovely vegetation that grows in our back yard. I've decided that, of all the flowers in our back yard, these are my favorite:


Sidenote: It was really hard for me not to call it the "garden," and it was really, really hard for me not to write it "favourite." How's that for assimilation?

These little blue flowers are all over the back yard, in tall plants with spikey stems. I decided that they were my favorites shortly after we arrived home from the U.S., and what did I discover about these pretty blue flowers this morning?

They're weeds.

That's right, weeds.

Most people here try to get rid of them, rip them out of the ground by their roots, perform anti-weed dances over their gardens, and pray to the God of No Weeds that they will never return.

And I've dubbed them my favorite.

That's okay, right? I mean, there's nothing wrong with liking a weed, right?

I'm going to admit that I'm comfortable with it. After all, I've always like dandelions, and those are most definitely Weeds (with a capital "w" no less) to most people.

So Neighborhood of Finely-Tuned Back Yards, I turn my nose up you. My own yard will be filled with beautiful weeds. Because I like it that way. So there.